


In The Dark

by Acidqueen (syredronning)



Series: In Moments series [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: ASCEM, M/M, SpockMcCoyDen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-23
Updated: 2010-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-12 03:25:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/120252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syredronning/pseuds/Acidqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all shared knowledge enlightens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the seventh wave of the SpockMcCoyDen; the challenge was: "Write an S/Mc about what happened when Mirror McCoy met up with Canon Spock."
> 
> Thanks to Lyrastar for her valuable advice and beta!
> 
> Originally posted January 2004.

Preface:

With the usual strange feeling, McCoy materialized on the platform in the transport bay, and for a moment his legs got weak as he met Spock's gaze. He wasn't sure if from the memory of the Mirror Spock entering his mind uninvited, or rather from the memories that that Spock had shared with him - images of a secret relationship, weird and yet somehow…fulfilling. Never ever had he given any thought to Spock as sexual partner, but the vivid scenes had stirred something inside of him that he needed to analyze…and put away as fast as possible. And he swore to never tell Spock anything about it.

With an unusually strong feeling of relief, Spock watched the lost crewmembers materialize on the platform in the transport bay. And for a moment there was a distinct flush of heat in his groin as he met McCoy's gaze. He wasn't sure if from the memory of how the other McCoy had surprised him, or from the shame of just how far he had allowed the sexual advances to go. Never had he given a thought to McCoy as sexual partner, but this encounter had stirred something inside of him that he needed to meditate over…and put away as fast as possible. And he decided to never tell McCoy anything about it.

***

A year later:

It wasn't the most successful landing party ever; in fact, it was probably one of the worst. At least in McCoy's opinion, and he hadn't even had the discomfort of the adventure of a few days before. Kirk and Spock had to fight against some nasty figures from history in a setup by yet another alien culture that was too stupid to just ask for reading material, and instead used the crew of the Enterprise as Guinea pigs.

Of course, that had hindered neither his captain nor the first officer from beaming down to the next available planet for trouble, McCoy as life insurance right next to them. One day he really would kick Jim's ass for all those landing parties. But that would have to wait until they were out of this very dark and deep cave where not so friendly natives had put Spock and him to die. They probably had myths about pointy-eared demons. He could only hope that Jim's escape into the woods would save them all. Right now, he'd happily let himself be beamed to almost anywhere.

"Any way out?" McCoy said into the pitch-black darkness, one hand firmly on the wall to keep track of the surroundings.

"As we have no tricorders anymore, I cannot determine the existence of another way out of this cave," Spock's voice came from somewhere left of him.

"Pretty intelligent natives, for being rated only level five on the UFP development scale," McCoy mumbled.

"They simply removed anything valuable that we had."

"Yeah. Wonder why they didn't simply kill us."

"Many cultures prefer indirect means of execution." Spock's voice was perfectly calm, making McCoy's bad mood rise to new heights. But he swallowed down the sharp reply that came to his mind; they would have to cooperate here, or it would be an even more uncomfortable stay in this cave than it already was. Shivering in the cool, humid air, McCoy pulled his hand away from the wall and started hugging himself.

"What're we going to do now, Spock? I'd say we should look around in the cave system. We're going to freeze here if we don't move."

"It would be more logical to wait on this end, as search parties might be able to follow our tracks. I estimate their arrival within the next three hours. There is also a high probability that we would hurt ourselves while searching unknown terrain in this darkness."

McCoy shrugged, belatedly realizing that Spock couldn't see it. "Well, as long as you keep me warm," he stated caustically.

"A logical demand," Spock's voice replied emotionlessly. Blindly, McCoy took a few cautious steps toward the origin of the voice and, reaching out his palm, soon met Spock's chest. "Ah, there you are," he said unnecessarily, and hastily dropped his hand. Spock's body was overly warm as usual, and the contact had been…nice.

Strong fingers caught his and directed him down to the floor. In the end they sat side by side against the cool wall.

"I'd give anything for a blanket," McCoy said with a shiver.

"I agree, Doctor, and would suggest that you come closer." An arm surprisingly wrapped itself around McCoy's shoulder and pulled him closer to a warm body. It would be more fun if it weren't so cold, it came to McCoy's mind, before he hastily forced down any improper thoughts.

For a while they sat in complete silence, pondering their fate for themselves.

"How much time has gone by?" McCoy asked finally.

"Only forty five point three minutes."

They dropped back into silence, and after a while McCoy fell into a light sleep. He awoke from it, slightly irritated to find his head lying on Spock's shoulder. Hastily tilting it upwards, he muttered an apology.

"The appropriate Human phrase would be 'You're welcome'," the Vulcan's voice resounded, muffled.

"I don't think that's what you wanted to say," McCoy chuckled.

"I am well-versed in paraphrasing Standard vocabulary."

"You give a different impression most of the time." Was it only his imagination that the hand around his shoulders had somehow slipped lower…?

"I assumed you would be disappointed if I did not question your emotional sentences at regular intervals."

McCoy, briefly torn between a caustic retort and a humorous reply, finally decided for the humor.

"Just as much as you'd be disappointed if I didn't nag you once in a while."

"Indeed."

The single word seemed to hang in the air for a moment.

"Well, I admit you've tried to be more human lately," McCoy mumbled. "Didn't refer to your blasted logic every other second."

"I do not think 'blasted' is the correct adjective," his companion answered. "But yes, I found that I was better at…adjusting myself to you."

McCoy stared into the nothingness, wondering what Spock really wanted to tell him. Well, looking back, they had kind of danced around each other lately, keeping the sniping sometimes and slipping into more comfortable, normal discussion at other times. He himself had tried hard to forget about the Mirror Spock, but the mixed experience of…assault and invitation remained imprinted on his mind. And to have Spock so near now, all to himself…well, maybe he should risk an open dialogue for once.

"Uh…any special reason for that, Spock? You're not trying to become human for once, do you?"

"Would you really want me to be more human, Doctor?"

Mainly concerning your sex life, McCoy thought. "Well, yeah, sometimes," he said. "But you didn't answer my question."

"The McCoy of the mirror universe…allowed me some valuable insights."

"Ah." A pause. "How so?" McCoy asked. "I read your reports - didn't you pretty much put them all into custody immediately, since they were acting so savagely and strangely when they arrived in the transporter room?"

"I did, Doctor. However, to find out more about them, I interrogated the doctor."

McCoy frowned. "Why him and not the other Kirk?"

"Because he was the only one who offered cooperation, and immediate action was called for to retrieve you again." Something unreadable hung in Spock's voice.

"It didn't work like a normal interrogation, did it?" McCoy gambled.

"No."

Again, a single word extended itself. But no explanation followed.

"Good god, Spock, either you tell me everything or stop talking about it," McCoy finally muttered annoyed. "I'm not pulling your teeth one by one. Besides, I have good idea what he revealed to you."

The hand around his shoulder tensed slightly. "On what grounds?"

"The other Spock…he melded with me. First to see the truth in my mind, then to show me his relationship with the other McCoy."

"He melded with you?" The Vulcan was astonished. "And you agreed to it?"

"No, I didn't," McCoy murmured. "But there wasn't much choice."

"You did not report this incident, Doctor," Spock said sharply.

McCoy shrugged. "Any more than you reported yours - I did in the confidential medical report. Had some sessions with M'Benga to talk it through." He frowned into the darkness, glad that Spock couldn't see his face now. There had been easier things in his life than handling that particular kind of intrusion.

"You should have gone to a healer. A forced meld can cause considerable damage." The voice was softer now, and the hand released a part of its grip. In fact, it felt more like a caress now in its minute movements along his skin.

"Anyway," McCoy went on, acutely aware of the Vulcan's presence next to him, "I saw some scenes…sex scenes with the two of them. Kind of weird relationship, with the other Spock, uh, kind of submissive to that McCoy."

"The doctor had effectively made the Vulcan dependent on a special drug," Spock stated.

"Yes. Well. They're all pretty amoral over there. The other Spock also didn't have any qualms about violating others." Suddenly, a thought struck McCoy. "Did he drug you in the interrogation?"

"He attempted to, but he did not succeed. At that moment, he realized that I was indeed not his normal Spock, and cooperated fully with the plan to return him to his universe."

"Come on, Spock, that isn't the whole story," McCoy insisted. "Otherwise, you'd have reported it. What's going on, Spock? You didn't *allow* him to use it on you…did you?"

The darkness seemed to deepen in front of his eyes, as he once again waited for an answer that wasn't coming. He was ready to slap the stubborn Vulcan - or to kiss him, he wasn't quite sure.

"Don't you think that this would be a good moment to tell the whole story, Spock?" Conveying nearness, he once more leaned against Spock's shoulder and put his arm around their bent legs, stroking Spock's outer thigh. He would crawl into the hot skin, if he could…

The body beside him unexpectedly shifted and broke contact as it stretched to stand. "I will be right back," the Vulcan murmured and walked away from him in almost soundless steps.

Finding himself bereft of physical warmth and, worse, emotional contact, McCoy shivered in the suddenly striking cold. Had he said too much, and made Spock retreat all the way into that Vulcan nutshell again? Dammit. Why hadn't he kept his mouth shut? His thoughts raced, wondering how they had gotten into this much too intimate situation and this much too revealing talk at all. Heartily cursing fate and his tendency to fall for the wrong people over and over again, he bathed in dark thoughts until Spock returned.

By then, McCoy had stood up and was moving around to warm himself, but his teeth were chattering nevertheless. Disoriented, he stared into the black void as he addressed his invisible companion.

"Spock? Uh, Spock, I'm sorry if I did something wrong."

"On the contrary, Doctor. You did something too...compelling," Spock's voice answered, rumbling through the nearest cave structures. "I found I needed a moment to meditate over it."

"Meditate...hmmm..." McCoy hugged himself further, not quite knowing how to answer.

"Doctor, can you not stay still for a moment? Your movements irritate me."

"It's too damn cold here, and with my living stove gone I -"

McCoy's voice faltered as warm hands softly touched his shoulders. He instantly ceased his walking.

"Please," the Vulcan said insistently. "I did not get drugged, neither by his assault nor by my own choice. You should well know that I would not allow such a thing to happen in the middle of a crisis. However, I admit I was intrigued by the effects the doctor described to me. It reportedly suppresses certain brain activities concerning the emotional control center. Under other circumstances, I might be curious enough to experiment with it."

Pictures appeared in McCoy's mind, visions of a bearded Spock cringing at the feet of his human master, showing his emotions like he never could elsewhere. But the doctor just couldn't reconcile this with this Spock - his Spock, his cool, ever-so-controlled green-blooded computer. Not really, no.

"Taking a drug isn't quite logical, is it?"

"Indeed, it has little to do with…Vulcan logic. As you have often pointed out, there are aspects of my upbringing which it would be favorable to overcome…at least in certain moments."

"And you think a drug would do it? I can't believe it, Spock. Didn't you learn anything from the Mudd girls and that crystal there? A drug doesn't really change something or someone - it only reveals what's hidden deep in you. Aren't you the one with the best body control around here?"

"I feel honored by your words, doctor. But although I have tried to strive for more…variability…in choices in the last months, I found that some intrinsic limits were not easy to overcome."

"Really, Spock, I don't like the implications," McCoy said wearily. "Such a drug is a pretty dangerous thing. Not quite the way I wanted you to experience your emotions, damn."

"I have analyzed the ingredients and have no indication of any side effects."

"You *have* the drug? Lord, Spock, do I have to quote regulations to you? Mind-expanding drugs of all kinds -"

"Doctor," the touch on his upper arms tightened slightly. "This is not a mind-expanding drug in the classic sense."

"Doesn't matter in what sense, Spock," McCoy said sharply. "You know as well as I do that such stuff is completely forbidden on starships."

He took a deep breath. "Heck, Spock, I'm sure you could also loosen up in a…uh…more normal way. Why don't you try…why don't we try?"

Closing his hands around the Vulcan's waistline, he pulled him nearer without meeting resistance. Their faces were so close that he could feel Spock's soft breathing on his skin. Without thinking further, he searched for the other one's mouth, moving along a warm cheek before finding his goal. Their lips met, but Spock's didn't yield to his cautious probing.

McCoy pulled back. "Spock…" he began, but all further words seemed to get stuck in his throat.

"Doctor…Leonard…I -" the Vulcan began, only to be interrupted by steps and then flashlights that danced around on the upper edge of the cave.

"Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, are you down there?" someone shouted.

"Yes, we are," McCoy said, and hastily retreated from the contact, inwardly cursing the bad timing of the rescue team. Now he would probably never learn what Spock had intended to say. With the feeling of having lost his best chance ever to come to terms with the Vulcan, he let himself be pulled out of the cave and back into the sunlight.

 

Onboard, M'Benga gave them an especially warm welcome with heated beverages and thermo-bags, in which they listened to Jim's narration and delivered their reports on their stay in the cave, both cautiously avoiding any personal statements. Then Jim went to the bridge, leaving them behind for the final checkup.

"You're both cleared for duty," M'Benga said soon after, and Spock quickly stood up to fetch his uniform shirt.

McCoy gave his colleague a vague gaze, which M'Benga thankfully understood as a plea to leave them alone for a moment.

"Spock, about our conversation in the cave…" he started cautiously, as the man vanished behind his office door.

"This is not the moment to pursue it, Doctor." Spock stated emotionlessly. "But I will take your opinion into consideration for the future."

"My opinion?" McCoy glared at him in rising irritation. "Well, if I say the drug's forbidden, that's not an opinion, but an order from the CMO to hand it over - or I will have to report you."

"The remains of the drug were used up in the analysis," Spock said coolly, "so you do not have to be concerned about it anymore. And now I will return to my duties, Doctor." He passed him without as much as a final nod.

McCoy watched the departing figure and scratched his chin in concern. He knew what he wanted, but he wasn't at all sure what a) Spock wanted and b) Spock needed - heck, if it was sensible at all to pursue this himself. Well, they would find out soon - they had to find out soon, because their mission was nearing its end.

Only days later, they were caught in the Ice Age of Sarpeidon. And what happened there changed everything again…


End file.
